Fear of the unknown?
Is fear of the unknown truly fear of things unknown?
It’s often said that we fear something we’re not sure about; the dark, or death, or what will happen if we quit our job before lining up another one. But is it the thing we fear truly what we don’t know?
I don’t think it is. When a child is afraid of the dark, they’re not afraid of the darkness itself, but what they imagine is hiding in the darkness. They fear the boogie monster, or whatever was in that horror movie they shouldn’t have been watching.
If we were truly afraid of the unknown, then the realisation that we can’t predict the future would be truly terrifying. Without psychic powers of prescience, we can’t say with certainty what will happen at any point in the future. We don’t know what’s going to happen. Yet we still go on living our lives as if everything will, more or less, work out ok. So why is that if we don’t know what’s coming up?
I think it’s because of positive expectation. We expect the sun to rise every morning, we expect to get to work safely, we expect our boss to have more work for us to do. None of it inspires fear (hopefully), because we’re familiar with those things; we experience them daily.
But what happens when you get to work and there’s a group of stern, important looking men having a very serious conversation with your boss. How do you feel when you hear there’s going to be a massive downsizing? Are you, an average worker who does good work, but should be doing a little better, afraid because you don’t know what will happen, or are you afraid because you think you’re about to lose your job?
So is it the things we don’t know which we fear, or is it the whisperings of doubt and negative expectation that we truly fear?
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May 18th, 2007 at 7:43 am
I agree that it is not the “unknown� that we fear.
I wonder if we fear our ability to adapt and thrive believing at the core that we might be unable to meet the challenges placed in our path (survival instinct)? Do you think this corresponds to Maslow’s hierarchy? If so, would our biggest fears would be at or above the levels we have attained (although could still have less serious fear in all levels)?
Basically we would fear what we are unsure we can handle. Yes?
May 18th, 2007 at 2:53 pm
Hmmm, are you asking if we fear to attempt to satify needs above those we have not yet satisfied? I.e., if we have unsatified needs at the level of “Safety” then do we doubt our ability to satisfy our needs at the level of “love” and above? And fear bad results if we try?
I think so, in essence, but I’m not convinced of Maslow’s hierarchy. My agreement is with the doubt (which leads to fear) in our ability to satisfy some needs when more urgent and important ones are unsatisfied.
That said, I know that I have sometimes ignored physical needs so that I could satisfy needs of esteem, or love/belonging. For example ignoring hunger pains so I can spend more time with a friend, or staying up late so I can socialise despite knowing I’ll pay for it the next day.
On a related note, I read recently that our brain has a function which causes us to feel discomfort when our expectation doesn’t match with reality. E.g., when our habits are challenged/interrupted, we feel bad. It’s our brain alerting us to a discrepancy, and warning us to be alert. This would have made sense in the past when change could mean death.
Perhaps this is one source of fear, the discomfort we feel when something unexpected occurs. So yes, survival instinct warning us to be careful when tackling the challenge placed in our path. If the discomfort is strong enough I suspect it triggers the fight/flight/freeze response.
May 19th, 2007 at 9:01 am
I didn’t explain myself very well. Let me try again…
The more I think about it the stronger I feel that fear and a model such as Maslow’s Hierarchy are connected. In my mind our primary or strongest fears are at the level we currently inhabit but they can be either above or below as well (keeping in mind that the levels are fluid to some degree). I think that Maslow’s Hierarchy ties directly to survival instincts.
The way I understand this model the first level would tie to having food, water and shelter – someone who would inhabit this level would be struggling day to day to come up with the money to pay rent and purchase food, perhaps there would be days that they/their family didn’t eat three meals for instance. While they would certainly have fears in other levels their primary fears would be based on not having enough food, a place to stay or losing any current source of income or goodwill they do have available.
Someone moving out of this level and into safety might have a very low wage job with no health benefits but can afford food and shelter as long as they don’t miss any days of work. Their fears would still center somewhat on basic needs of shelter and food but probably begin to focus a bit more on fears such as getting sick (and not having money to pay for health coverage) or the fear of living in a dangerous neighborhood but not having the money to move. Fears at this level would also start to focus on being part of a group (if things are going so well maybe this means a gang…), finding love, etc.
Dreary examples, but true for much of humanity. In my or I’d guess your case I didn’t grow up having to worry about having food or shelter it was a given. I had some security fears but mostly as a small child (fears of the dark like your example). Most of my fears centered around being liked, what kind of career I would have, being “understood� and so forth. (the being understood fear still stands! :grin:) As an adult I’ve had a couple of times when I’ve had fears about basic necessities such as food/shelter such as the layoff example you give but then have taken measures to see that I wouldn’t end up without basic needs in the future, i.e. creating an emergency fund.
I see the example of ignoring your physical needs to meet higher needs as outside of the hierarchy in that you are never in jeopardy of not being able to eat instead you are choosing to engage in higher levels therefore you wouldn’t have more than a vague passing concern about missing dinner. (But a nice friend you are)
The article you linked rocks. I’m going to read it through again as it gives me a lot to think about. I completely agree with your last paragraph.
May 19th, 2007 at 9:04 am
woops! I meant to say if things aren’t going so well not are going well when speaking of joining a gang.
May 21st, 2007 at 10:37 am
Ahh, I think I understand now. Maslow’s hierarchy represents the needs which demand most of one’s attention on a day-to-day basis. So in my case missing dinner doesn’t apply because I’m not at risk of missing dinner on a daily basis.
And I see what you mean about fears and needs being intertwined. We most fear being denied what we need most.
I wonder if it’s the ability to do what needs to be done to reach the next level in the hierarchy, while still under the influence of those fears, is what separates those who are able to reach higher from those who don’t.
People who work closely with those on welfare would probably have an solid impression of what people at the lowest point in the hierarchy think and feel about their situation. I wonder what the attitude of those who stay there is like. I could speculate but I’d rather not because it would be fairly negative.
May 21st, 2007 at 8:14 pm
I wonder if it’s the ability to do what needs to be done to reach the next level in the hierarchy, while still under the influence of those fears, is what separates those who are able to reach higher from those who don’t.
Here’s a thought for you in regards to the question as to whether or not it is the ability to do what needs to be done in the face of fear that separates those who are able to reach higher from those who aren’t. After reading that article you linked above I’ve been pondering just how important diet, sleep and exercise are to our overall thought processes and functioning. I worked with a psychiatrist on a book about depression and got to understand at least some of the complexity involved in brain functioning (not enough that much has stuck with me but enough to be awed by the entire thing).
This article really reinforced my awe; I have always accepted the interconnection between mind and body but now wonder how hard it must be to overcome fears/perceptions of the world when you are hungry, eating poorly, usually at a heightened stress level and so forth. The people who do manage to pull themselves out of desperate situations such as welfare must be some strong people. Seriously. I also have to wonder just what role my day-to-day choices make in my thinking/emotions and am curious how much those daily habits have impacted the course of my life. I know for a fact that not drinking enough water tends to make me feel lethargic and slightly negative about the world. Exercising every day makes me feel peaceful and so forth. I guess I’m not really going anywhere just thinking aloud…
May 22nd, 2007 at 9:47 am
It’s true, our mind and body are awe inspiring.
I think one of the keys to overcoming our fears is to realise that we can. Our brain is powerful, but we have the ability to make it do what we want, if we put in the effort, as those very strong people show.
I was recently thinking about how some very small influences can cause much larger changes in our lives. For example riding to and from work, only a 10-15 minute ride each way, has improved my sleep to the point that I now almost always wake up at 6am without feeling the grogginess I used to feel.
I’ve thought about this in the past as well, and I remember there being a few much clearer examples, but unfortunately they elude me at the moment. I hope I can remember them, it’d make a great article.
May 23rd, 2007 at 1:42 am
A couple years ago I realized that all of the things that I thought were going to be big deals in my life and worked really hard for weren’t the things that ended up having all that much impact whereas some small, seemingly insignificant actions had massive life altering repercussions. That was really a life changing realization that honestly I’m still working hard to understand.
A good life seems to be deciding a direction and then letting go and living the day I’m in. It still feels slightly wrong though…:P I’m really working to not underestimate the impact of a string of small thoughtful actions, I would much rather have big and dramatic, so much more fun!
July 20th, 2007 at 12:13 pm
I sense fear of the unknown is often actually a fear about not learning to accept and love all that you are, where you are and why you’re there. To me, fear is false evidence of that which you’re not. It represents an artifical reality conjured up by your ego that wishes you to believe you’re unsatisfied and unfulfilled when unlimited love is reinforced within and all around you. Its a question of how you choose to perceive yourself and the world. This is as much a philosophical as a spiritual position.